lesson learned

I took a taxi home today. As is norm, since I live slightly out of la ceiba and it's rainy season. Also, ceiba is dangerous at the moment. Anyways, the guy drove me to my neighborhood. We were just outside my neighborhood when he picked up another family. So,I simply said, "here is fine, thanks!" famous last words. You see, ceiba is dangerous right now. Also, my neighborhood is dangerous right now. I figured I was good because it was still the afternoon and I've only ever heard gunshots at night. However,I was walking on my street and parallel to me is the main street. On the other side of the main street, came two loud gun shots. Directly parallel to me. Now, here's the deal. It could've been a car backfiring. But, I've learned here that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a gunshot. Or however the phrase goes. I can confidently say tonight was the only time in my life when i thought i was going to die. (besides the mailbox texting incident of 2008, a different story for a different, nonexistent time) Point of the story is, I didn't look to my right or left and I increased my walking speed to a slight jog. I guess from now on, I will make my taxi driver pull up to my door always and forever. But, I guess I can find a positive out of all this. I'm alive. And i just doubled my street cred.

a love affair

Dear love of my life,
Yeah, you know who you are. I've started seeing you more and more, so you must've noticed me by now. I love you, a lot. I love how as soon as I enter your room, I feel comfortable and cool. I love that with you in my life, I can feel at home. You make me feel relaxed. And you always provide chocolate. It's like you accept me for who I am. Today, you gave me hot chocolate. I can't tell you how much that meant to me. I've been craving hot chocolate. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, I love all of you. Especially your wireless Internet, and delicious chocolate sprinkled doughnuts. So thanks, dunkin doughnuts. You rock, don't ever change. I mean that.
Love,
Caitlin

Well sheesh

Today i ate at the pizza hut here for the fourth week in a row. Judge all you want, but I'm convinced Jesus is saving a little piece of heaven for pizza hut honduras. Anyways, I think I ate the whole store. I had a sprite. A personal pan pizza. A salad. A brownie al a mode. And monkey bread type thing. Seriously so much food. I went with my friend Amanda and I think we hit that American stereo type dead on. Your welcome fellow citizens of the states.
And due to a stye in my right eyelid that formed this morning (probably due to stress), I did all this with one eye. Which if you don't analyze that too much, makes it all more impressive. My workout plan starts tomorrow.

1000 beautiful things

So, you've probably heard of the blog dedicated to listing 1000 things the blogger is grateful for. Well, I've decided to do that every tuesday, at least while I'm here in Hondy. I hope to do it when I return as well, but we will see. I'm going to list 5 things every week. Why Tuesday, you ask? Because I thought of this today, and it's Tuesday. So here we go.

#1: when I have a bad day, everyone in my family contacts me within 24 hours.
#2: you can buy 4 movies for five dollars in this beautiful, lawless country.
#3: chocolate continues to exist and I continue to consume it regularly.
#4: every cloud is so beautiful; I just want to cry.
#5: the moment after a long awaited sneeze.

all sad things become untrue

I'm finding myself more broken than I remember being in a long time. I have been living by myself in my home slash in a mother missionary's home for the past week. And that was fine and I was surviving, knowing that my roommate would return this morning. Well, after a drastic turn in events, Shannon is forbidden from the country for ten days. (she didn't do anything illegal, read the story here: shannoninhonduras.blogspot.com) And, ten days from now, she would be in Mexico for a missions conference. Long story short, I am going to be myself for the next three weeks.
She told me this last night and I'm hesitant to even blog about it because I know she will feel bad. (Shannon, this is not your fault. The Lord is teaching both of us something, clearly). But, I am so sad. I realized last night and this morning through many, many tears and long conversations with the Lord and with my sister, that I have put my hope on my circumstances. I was trusting in the Lord last week with the knowledge that the suffering would end when Shannon returned today. But, that's not really faith. I've listened to two sermons on sufferin since last night (JD Greear and John Piper) and I can't rely on my circumstances. Especially in this culture where it is impossible to plan anything. Seriously, would you ever expect that you couldn't rely on someone coming home at least within a week of when the planned to?! Bah, Latin America, you kill me.
Do I know how to pay rent? No. Do I know how to cook dinner for three weeks for myself? No. Do i like going grocery shopping and such by myself? No. Do I want to be a mother to 20 kids in my house by myself? No. Do I want to watch all the people I've become friends with here, come and go for the next three weeks? No. Did I want to hit my one month and two month mark by myself? No. But, the Lord is consistent through it all and he will give me the strength to get through my suffering the moment I need it and not a second sooner. I'm not happy and cheery now that I've realized this. I'm still really sad. But, I'm fighting for my joy in the Lord because Satan can take my happiness and comfort, but he can't take that from me.
Some key points from the sermons I listened to:
"Peter saw in the resurrection: when it was the worst day and it looked like God was in the least control, he was in the most control."
"walking with Jesus is often simultanesouly great joy and deep pain."
"there will be time when our pain is transformed into joy and all sad things become untrue."
1peter1:6-7
"'The Lord is my portion' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him..'" Lamentations 3:24

interesting turn of events

So, the weather has quite a variety. It changes from hot to sweltering hot to kill me now it's so hot, on a daily basis. So bipolar. But, honestly some times I complain, but I guess you hit a point where a constant state of sweat is just normal life. I am, however, grateful that my mission here is not finding a male friend I can call my own. Hard to look cute in this climate, ladies.
Since Thursday though, the temperature has drastically dropped. To high 70s. Now, you may be thinking that is not cold in the slightest, but it's freezing up in here. I've spent the last three days In leggings, long socks, and long sleeves. All wrapped up in a blanket. It has been heavenly. I think I might even be developing a cold, praise the Lord! Seriously, these days have been the highlight of my week. Now excuse me while I go make myself some hot chocolate and curl up to Pride and Prejudice. These are the days of our lives.

seriously

Some may find it frustrating to have a broken pipe and termites in their concrete house. Some may find it even more frustrating that these things happened when they were all by themselves in a different country. Well, not this guy. Through this, I have had three phone conversations entirely in Spanish, have set appointments, and have had no problems with communication. And not once has my landlord told me I can't speak Spanish (which I'm telling you is an adults favorite thing to do around here). So, I'm feeling pretty good about it all. Bring it on, pipes and termites!

blessed

So, I hit my one month mark on Friday. I've been waiting so long to hit that because I just felt like it was such an accomplishment and that it would finally feel like I was at home. The thing is though, I really struggled this weekend. I tihink I got a little taste of cultue shock and I just was having issues with a lot of things. I wanted to be back in Cary, where I could drive a car, always have minutes on my phone, speak my own language, and relax. I love my life here, but it is just so diffferent. I never am able to relax. Everything I do is exhausting because my brain is just always on overdrive. I was a weak mess this weekend and I was so, so close to buying a ticket home.
BUT, the Lord is faithful and so good. He has been such a comfort to me in the past few days. I have made great new friends where I work and life has just gotten slightly easier. I still feel exhausted and I am still counting downs the days till home (hate that I'm still doing that), but I'm getting there. In my weakest moments, I am a daughter of the King and he will always, always be faithful. Praise the good Lord for that!

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'the Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore i will hope in Him." Lamentations 3:21-24

like white paper

Shannon and her family are leaving the country tomorrow. Shannon is going to Peru on a business trip for the week and her family is returning to the states. I think Shannon is more concerned about me eating while she is gone than leaving the country. so what if i eat cereal all week because it's the only thing i know how to make? whater. In honor of the Innes family's departures though, we took some of the boys (Jeffrey, Kevin, Ever, Jose, Cristopher, and Jeffrey's brother Guillermo) that come to our house to the river. There are many rivers in this city so I guess I should explain myself. There is a little watering hole with mini waterfalls and such about ten minutes from our house. All you have to do is pay about a dollar to go in for as long as you'd like. Yes, I think of Lion King whenever I say watering hole, but it's just what it is.
It was such a fun time though. The boys were so cute and excited and I just felt such a sense of family with them. It amazes me daily that I feel so close to them and love them so much despite our differences in culture, language, and pretty much anything else you can think of. I thank God for that blessing though, on a daily basis. Those boys truly are my family.
Few funny things that happened. The water was ICE cold. seriously, so cold and it felt even colder because when you feel like your in an oven day in and day out, you don't expect any type of relief. However, as soon as the tip of my pinky toe hit the water, the boys started splashing me till I was soaked to the core. All the while shouting, "TIENE MIEDO! TIENE MIEDO!" which essentially means scaredycat. The were loving it.
We also were able to jump off one of the waterfallish things into the river. So exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. The boys switched from calling me scaredycat to telling me to be careful because I was sure to fall and hurt myself.
The highlight for me though was lunchtime. We were all sitting on the rocks eating PB&J. I had little Ever on my lap and Shannon and her brother, Xan, were eating while sitting in the water. All of the sudden though, I heard little giggles and whispers from all the boys around me. Then i heard one of them say, "like white paper" under their breath. That's when it clicked for me. In the water, Xan was completely submerged and because he is pale and under the water, he was practically glowing. The boys thought this was the funniest thing and wouldn't stop laughing. Once they saw that I understood, they would giggle and say "Cait, he's like white paper. Like a big piece of white paper!"
How easy it is to entertain young boys, no matter what country they are from.

bob esponja

So, I help teach fourth grade on Mondays, Tuesdays, and thursdays. My favorite part of the day is the 30minute English class they have because for that half hour, I can feel smarter than those ten year olds. Maybe I've hit rock bottom. Anyways, on Tuesday they had to come up with sentences and english for a game. Here are some of my favorite ones:
My heart wants. (so unintentionally poetic)
My pen runs. (literally)
I write the notebook.
I am read.
My dog eats cars, trucks, and spongebob.
I speak the English. (not that funny on paper, but they say "I espeak da eenglish". Cutest.)

Love that class so much. And if you are ever wondering what spongebob is in Spanish, it's bob esponja. Yup, try figuring out how to translate that into English when a kid asks you to. So much struggle. Why would I ever guess that they were saying spongebob?

scattergories categories

There are few places in my life where my ability to have no clear train of thought is applauded. Actually, I can only think of one: scattergories categories. Shannon's family is in town and let me tell you, they are quite the gaming crew. Kate Defunk (yeah I said Defunk) prepare yourself mentally to play lots of games. Also, figure out how to cheat. I've figured out that the way to ruin a good game for Shannon is to cheat. So, I do so in order to express that I don't want to play that particular game. However, with scattergories categories, there is no need for cheating.
The point of the game is to come up with words in a catergory, but they have to start with certain letters and your word can't be the same as anyone else's or you don't win. For instance, we had to say something that was pitch black that started with an I. Logically I said "indonesia without electricity at night" and literally it took me less than five seconds to think of that. I thought it was simple enough. Well, it brought the house down.
Nothing like a little positive laughter at my random nature after years of shame and humility. I do hate games and I will never stop hating games, but I could get used to this one.

so much to tell, so little blog time.

Alright, blogging everyday is hard. i"m trying to because I love to be able to process my day and detox through blogging. Also, im keeping my peeps updated at the same time. two birds, one stone. But, I've fallen short this week. So, here's what had happened this week in list and picture form:
1. Shannon's mom and dad came into town with their friends, the Chapmans. They are from my Peace church family and so it's like a little reunion down here.
2. I found out that during the day, some mysterious creature lurks in my bed and leavs little pellets behind. oof.
3. Pooh Bear, m long lost love, arrived into town with Shannon's parents. I'm sorry Pooh for ever thinking socks and underwear were more important in my suitcase than you. Ive learned my mistake.
4. A Honduran man tried to kiss me on the lips and Shannon had to tach him boundaries.
5. I started my jo at the orphanage/school and I learned how to take someone's blood sugar and pressure all in one day. (well, almost, still working on the blood pressure, my hands cramp too much)
6. I got a wittle bit sick due to dehydration and a weird bug i caught.
NOW FOR PICTURES!


I mean, could you get any cuter than these two brothers? I submit you could not.


Funny story about this little booger. He told us his name was Juan Carlos and that was a lie. His real name is Moises. Why he lied, no one will ever know.


AND, meet the real Juan Carlos. Yup, this sweetheart has been going by Jeffrey for three weeks until we ran into another missionary who told us that he is not Jeffrey, he is Juan Carlos. So many pointless lies.

Oh yes, and I went swimming with the dolphins this morning in Roatan. So, SO fun! I am obsessed. After the initial pictures, 4 others and myself paid extra to snorkel with 20 dolphins. It was so so so fun and so cheap! Seriously, one of my tp life experiencs. Also,we took a crazy plane to Roatan. I have a picture, but blogger isn't letting me post it currently. I'll ty again on my next post. Exatcly ten people fit inside and it was exciting and petrifying at the same time. At one point, when we were in the middle of a storm cloud and all i could see was white, i honestly thought i would see my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ before sundown. Such an experience.

pink house, two floors

I've always prided myself on having an excellent sense of direction. It usually only takes me going to a place once before I know how to do it on my own. But I tell ya, La Ceiba has broken my streak. Most of the streets in this town don't have names and everything seems to move places on a daily basis. The place I ate dinner on my first day here is somehow a couple doors down from a place I ate at last night. You have to cross a bridge to get to my house and there is only two ways of getting to that bridge but somehow I'm shocked every time we approach, not knowing where it came from. I expressed these thoughts to Shannon last night and she gave me some tips to help me learn.

There are two main roads that lead to one of the main honduran cities, San Pedro Sula. One is called "road to San Pedro Sula by way of Burger King" and the other is called "road to San Pedro Sula by way of Saopin." Fuente Saopin is the bridge leading us to our house, once you get there, tell the taxi driver "left at auto sport, second street on the right, two stories, pink house." To get to my language school, you head to the gym (not the workout gym, but the karote one) and take the second street on the left.

I asked Shannon what our official address was. In the bank, we are registered to live at "la alemeda, la ceiba, alantidad, Honduras, central America. Left at the auto sport, second street on the right, third house on the right, the pink one with two floors."

All this to say that I'm more confused than ever and we own a PO box here.