So, I've always known that I'm an introvert and have come to terms with this fact. It's not bad that I get energy from being alone, rather than with people. Or that I value sleep. Or that I prefer to listen in a group setting rather than talk it up. I'm more of a one on one girl. Catch me by myself and I won't stop talking to you. But, here's the thing about learning a new language. Introversion is not an option. If you want to learn quickly and have a better range of vocab, youve gotta put yourself out there. And if you don't talk in big settings, people assume you don't know their language. And quite frankly, this stinks. I just want to sit and listen and not have to explain to people that it's not because I don't understand. It's just who I am. But, alas, no such luck. So for now, I have the trouble of being confident enough to speak in a new language and being confident enough to change personalities in order to do such speaking. What's a girl gotta do to disappear in the background these days?
Oy with the poodles already.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
changes
My life has taken some turns. I am no longer working at the boys home, Ninos De La Luz. For lots of reasons, but mostly since it's such a long commute and I can no lnger take the buses, I felt the Lord pointing me in a different direction, and so I followed. Through getting to know the church more, I have found a program that I love and am now involved in. I will be working for a children's nutrition center from 10-2 every day at the church. We play with the kids, feed them, tutor them, help them brush their teeth, and just love on them. I went for the first time yesterday and had a great time. I got to play a little soccer and by pure luck in the form of a header, I think I won some of the boys over. But, I'm excited for this new adventure and am trusting in the Lord to provide financially for transportation there each day. Prayers for that would be greatly appreciated. The Lorx is good and he provides for his children in the moment they need it. So, I am trusting in that. But, that's my new life and I'm excited about it!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
i don't even really know how to title this post. how to sum up the past 72 hours of life in Honduras. to begin, I should say that I went to a women's conference at my church here, Gran Comision. It was at one of the church campuses and it was an all weekend event that was in english! so awesome. my favorite part though was the time in between and after the talks where i got to know the women of the church. seriously, this church is so solid and the people in it even more so. Kate and I got closer to women that spend every day pouring into the community they live in and loving it with Christ's love. Which is more than I can say for myself. I think it is actually easier to move to a different country to show Christ's love than to do it consistently in your hometown. I have a friend crush on pretty much everyone i met.
Well Sunday afternoon came along and I was reminded of humanity and just how sinful our flesh is at it's core. A member of the praise band died at the age of 22 on his way to church. And it was hard to deal with. it's still hard to deal with. and for a while I couldn't put my finger on why it was. I mean, i had never talked to him or known him on any personal level at all. and yet, i felt pain. and i think the reasoning is two-fold. One, I got to know the church and the people in it this weekend and so, I felt their pain as a sister in Christ. But also, i think it's just feeling the pain of this world. In the states, it was very easy for me to turn the other way when it came down to the sinfulness of humanity. I felt it's effects, but on a minimal level. Here, children live on the street because their parents have abandoned them, others are thrown into the drug world or prostitution. People are shot daily. some because of gang evolvement and some because they got caught in the crossfire. there is starvation, abuse, death, theft, sadness, hatred. every day, everywhere. and i can't pretend to be ignorant. and it hurts. it's exhausting. and i plead for Jesus to come so that those children have no more pain. no more suffering.
but for now, this is the world i am called to live in. and i have to respond. so, I look to love the community the way christ would. to forgive the gangs for their constant killing. forgive the parents of the neglected. forgive the drug lords. and live every day as if it were my last. when I sing "with everything, we will shout forth your glory, your praise", "if our god is for us, who shall we fear", "lord, you are faithful and your mercies eternal"...i have to mean that. because today could very easily be my last. and i have to glorify him even in my death. and have no fear. and believe that in this pain and suffering in this world, he is faithful. and I am so grateful for this church body I have found that is a constant reminder of just that. praise Jesus for that.
Well Sunday afternoon came along and I was reminded of humanity and just how sinful our flesh is at it's core. A member of the praise band died at the age of 22 on his way to church. And it was hard to deal with. it's still hard to deal with. and for a while I couldn't put my finger on why it was. I mean, i had never talked to him or known him on any personal level at all. and yet, i felt pain. and i think the reasoning is two-fold. One, I got to know the church and the people in it this weekend and so, I felt their pain as a sister in Christ. But also, i think it's just feeling the pain of this world. In the states, it was very easy for me to turn the other way when it came down to the sinfulness of humanity. I felt it's effects, but on a minimal level. Here, children live on the street because their parents have abandoned them, others are thrown into the drug world or prostitution. People are shot daily. some because of gang evolvement and some because they got caught in the crossfire. there is starvation, abuse, death, theft, sadness, hatred. every day, everywhere. and i can't pretend to be ignorant. and it hurts. it's exhausting. and i plead for Jesus to come so that those children have no more pain. no more suffering.
but for now, this is the world i am called to live in. and i have to respond. so, I look to love the community the way christ would. to forgive the gangs for their constant killing. forgive the parents of the neglected. forgive the drug lords. and live every day as if it were my last. when I sing "with everything, we will shout forth your glory, your praise", "if our god is for us, who shall we fear", "lord, you are faithful and your mercies eternal"...i have to mean that. because today could very easily be my last. and i have to glorify him even in my death. and have no fear. and believe that in this pain and suffering in this world, he is faithful. and I am so grateful for this church body I have found that is a constant reminder of just that. praise Jesus for that.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
an assortment of thoughts
You see, I've taken this past week off to rest because there are no volunteers going to the orphanage until next week. So, here are some ponderings/tidbits/stories/anecdotes and what have you from my rest period.
God has been so great this week. Since I don't have anywhere to be, I've been able to spend a lot of time in the Word every morning. I have seen the affects of starting everyday with the Lord and I want to continue it as my life gets busier. He's just awesome.
These past few weeks have been exhausting. I've come to realize that going home for me was awesome and such a blessing, but it wasn't restful. Most would view that time as a vacation, but I came back pooped. I hope that's not a permanent thing now that I'm not living in that house anymore.
I'm a wittle sick. Nothin too major, I just have had terrible migraines off and on this week. I am currently in my room with no lights, squinty at my iPad screen where the brightness level is as low as possible. So, you could pray for that if you so desire.
If I have to watch The Incredibles one more time in Spanish with the boys at my house, I will cry. I don't even like that movie. But it's that or let them play with Barnabas and undo all the training he has. So, the Incredibles it
I love TOMS shoes even more than ever. A kid, Edwin, who comes to our house has some from a shoe drop they did here. And, they have rubber soles so they last longer and they are so so good for him. Also, our matching shoes have made us better friends. I think I'll write mr. Tom a letter saying just that. Buy TOMS people! They really help!
We found today one of the kids has a sister who lives in North Carolina. Add one point to NC on the scoreboard my friends.
God has been so great this week. Since I don't have anywhere to be, I've been able to spend a lot of time in the Word every morning. I have seen the affects of starting everyday with the Lord and I want to continue it as my life gets busier. He's just awesome.
These past few weeks have been exhausting. I've come to realize that going home for me was awesome and such a blessing, but it wasn't restful. Most would view that time as a vacation, but I came back pooped. I hope that's not a permanent thing now that I'm not living in that house anymore.
I'm a wittle sick. Nothin too major, I just have had terrible migraines off and on this week. I am currently in my room with no lights, squinty at my iPad screen where the brightness level is as low as possible. So, you could pray for that if you so desire.
If I have to watch The Incredibles one more time in Spanish with the boys at my house, I will cry. I don't even like that movie. But it's that or let them play with Barnabas and undo all the training he has. So, the Incredibles it
I love TOMS shoes even more than ever. A kid, Edwin, who comes to our house has some from a shoe drop they did here. And, they have rubber soles so they last longer and they are so so good for him. Also, our matching shoes have made us better friends. I think I'll write mr. Tom a letter saying just that. Buy TOMS people! They really help!
We found today one of the kids has a sister who lives in North Carolina. Add one point to NC on the scoreboard my friends.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
making the non monumental, monumental
You know how during the Christmas season everyone likes to countdown? Everyone follows the Christmas countdown on twitter, people watch 25 days of Christmas on ABC Family, and we fill our advent calendars with chocolates for each day. Well, we as the family living in the two story pink house in La Ceiba, Honduras, decided to make our own advent calendar, inspired by pinterest.
We all filled out notecards with fun activities to do in preparation for Christmas (ie watch Elf, learn a Spanish christmas carol, make cookies) and hid them in the different days of the calendar. And loved it. Well, most people would pack up the calendar after the 25th and call it quits till December 1st of the next year. But, that is where most people miss out on the true wonder of a countdown calendar.
You see, a countdown calendar knows no bounds. It is not constrained by our failures and labels we place on it, nor does it's forsake us in our moments of doubt and disbelief. In fact some would argue that you can find the gospel in the truths of the countdown calendar. We three are the faithful few, though. We have kept it's glory alive and let it shine. Here are the ways we plan to use the calendar for the next couple months:
1) 23 days till Shannon returns from the states
2) 19 days till Kate leaves for a week to Peru
3) 16 days till we start a new calendar
You get the point. Some would argue that we are countdown gluttons. And, I don't necessarily dispute that. But, I also don't dispute that that little guy makes my day every day (minus the days that we have to learn a Spanish Christmas carol, that one was, admittedly, a dud to say the least). To learn more about the countdown calendar read: www.shannoninhonduras.blogspot.com AND www.avoiceinthestreets.wordpress.com
We all filled out notecards with fun activities to do in preparation for Christmas (ie watch Elf, learn a Spanish christmas carol, make cookies) and hid them in the different days of the calendar. And loved it. Well, most people would pack up the calendar after the 25th and call it quits till December 1st of the next year. But, that is where most people miss out on the true wonder of a countdown calendar.
You see, a countdown calendar knows no bounds. It is not constrained by our failures and labels we place on it, nor does it's forsake us in our moments of doubt and disbelief. In fact some would argue that you can find the gospel in the truths of the countdown calendar. We three are the faithful few, though. We have kept it's glory alive and let it shine. Here are the ways we plan to use the calendar for the next couple months:
1) 23 days till Shannon returns from the states
2) 19 days till Kate leaves for a week to Peru
3) 16 days till we start a new calendar
You get the point. Some would argue that we are countdown gluttons. And, I don't necessarily dispute that. But, I also don't dispute that that little guy makes my day every day (minus the days that we have to learn a Spanish Christmas carol, that one was, admittedly, a dud to say the least). To learn more about the countdown calendar read: www.shannoninhonduras.blogspot.com AND www.avoiceinthestreets.wordpress.com
Friday, January 6, 2012
cute as the cutest little button
Last night, as a way of sending off Mallory and Amanda, we had some of the boy come over for pizza at our house. They were all so sweet and kind the whole night which is a rarity, my friends. I can't remember a day before yesterday where we didn't have to kick at least one boy out. So, last night was just so relaxing. Little Kevin was the absolute cutest.
To rewind, about 6 weeks or 2 months ago, one day Shannon and I were working with Kevin and Ever on their writing. Kevin has this habit of whenever he doesn't want to do something, he just says he can't. Actually, he puts on his adorable Kevinness, shakes his index finger, and says "No pueeeedo, Cait." So, that day, I just kept looking back at him with my Caitness, nodding my index finger, and saying "Si, se puede. Kevin!" (translation: yes you can!) And, in the moment, he kept switching from being annoyed at me to trying to hide a giggle about it.
Well, last night, we were playing that game where two people face each other and try to knock each other over. It sounds like a very weird game if you don't know it, but trust our wisdom here, it's a good game. Kevin was loving it an laughing so hard about it. He looked at me at one point and asked me if I wanted to go against him. I just looked at him and put on my best Kevin face and said, "No pueeedo, Kevin." Well, that little cutie just looked back at me, nodded his index finger, and said, "Si, se puede, Cait!"
I laughed so, so hard. You've got to realize that 1) I haven't done that to him since that one day, so he remembered it, and 2) It's rare to find a kid here who has a witty sense of humor. It seriously made my day. Maybe my life. Too extreme? never.
To rewind, about 6 weeks or 2 months ago, one day Shannon and I were working with Kevin and Ever on their writing. Kevin has this habit of whenever he doesn't want to do something, he just says he can't. Actually, he puts on his adorable Kevinness, shakes his index finger, and says "No pueeeedo, Cait." So, that day, I just kept looking back at him with my Caitness, nodding my index finger, and saying "Si, se puede. Kevin!" (translation: yes you can!) And, in the moment, he kept switching from being annoyed at me to trying to hide a giggle about it.
Well, last night, we were playing that game where two people face each other and try to knock each other over. It sounds like a very weird game if you don't know it, but trust our wisdom here, it's a good game. Kevin was loving it an laughing so hard about it. He looked at me at one point and asked me if I wanted to go against him. I just looked at him and put on my best Kevin face and said, "No pueeedo, Kevin." Well, that little cutie just looked back at me, nodded his index finger, and said, "Si, se puede, Cait!"
I laughed so, so hard. You've got to realize that 1) I haven't done that to him since that one day, so he remembered it, and 2) It's rare to find a kid here who has a witty sense of humor. It seriously made my day. Maybe my life. Too extreme? never.
sweet friendness
So, last wednesday, I flew home. Not home home (as in the States), but home to Honduras. Sheesh, I'm a nomad these days. Side note, I was able to switch the first leg of my flights from RDU to Miami because the flight was overbooked. So, I cut off my 10 hour layover and got a 300$ voucher for American Airlines. Holla praise.
Anyways, that Friday, my friends from high school, Amanda and Mallory, came to visit me for the week. It was such fun friend time. I just love being able to show people my life here, so that they actually know me and who I am. Plus, I got to do cool touristy things that I wouldn't normally do since I am living here. We went exploring on the mountains and the beach, went snorkeling at Cayos Cochinos, walked along the river bank near my house, and loved on the boys that come to my house. Sometimes, I have to pinch myself to make sure my life is real. It was a great transition to my life back here because I had a little piece of the states with me while I got adjusted to being here for another 4 months.
I feel like the 4 months is just going to FLY by. I kinda tried to express that last night to the roommates, but they made fun of me. Apparently saying that January is pretty much already over and February is not a real month because its short and that I'm not here for all of April, is not a fair argument for my time being almost over. But, I am totally not worried about "surviving" four more months here. I got to see my family and it made me realize how short my time is in Honduras and that I can totally do it and in fact, it's going to be over before I really want it to be. It's just weird. January, stop ending!
Anyways, that Friday, my friends from high school, Amanda and Mallory, came to visit me for the week. It was such fun friend time. I just love being able to show people my life here, so that they actually know me and who I am. Plus, I got to do cool touristy things that I wouldn't normally do since I am living here. We went exploring on the mountains and the beach, went snorkeling at Cayos Cochinos, walked along the river bank near my house, and loved on the boys that come to my house. Sometimes, I have to pinch myself to make sure my life is real. It was a great transition to my life back here because I had a little piece of the states with me while I got adjusted to being here for another 4 months.
I feel like the 4 months is just going to FLY by. I kinda tried to express that last night to the roommates, but they made fun of me. Apparently saying that January is pretty much already over and February is not a real month because its short and that I'm not here for all of April, is not a fair argument for my time being almost over. But, I am totally not worried about "surviving" four more months here. I got to see my family and it made me realize how short my time is in Honduras and that I can totally do it and in fact, it's going to be over before I really want it to be. It's just weird. January, stop ending!
the past month
Well, life got busy and it got busy very very fast. Last time I blogged, I was in the airport, waiting to pick up my sister, Anna, so that I could hang with her in the Hondyland for a week. I absolutely loved that time with her. She is the best friend a girl could ask for and it was awesome to be able to show her my life here. I finally felt like my life in the states was combining with who I am here. But, big news came my way while she was visiting. That Sunday, we skyped my oldest sister, Sarah Jane. During that Skype convo, Anna handed me a christmas card from Sarah so that I could open my present while Sarah could see my reaction. Turns out, my present was COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!
Needless to say, I was so shocked. I flew home with Anna and was able to surprise my entire family for Christmas. It was the best Christmas of my life. Seeing my mom and dad be absolutely surprised was priceless and emotional and wonderful. I think I was blocking all of the things I was going to miss about being home out of my mind because I didn't want to be miserable in Honduras for Christmas. But, once I got home, I was thrilled to go to Christmas Eve brunch with my family, hang out with family friends on Christmas, eat Papa Jack's pancakes, see my parents and siblings, watch Star Wars, and so many other glories. I mean, our Christmas tree in the states is real. and it smells real. And I will never take that for granted again. So, that's why I haven't blogged in a while. I was scared for the week before that I was going to spoil the surprise and then the five days I was home, I wanted to spend every second with my family. Sorry that I'm not sorry. No worries, I am back in full force now.
Needless to say, I was so shocked. I flew home with Anna and was able to surprise my entire family for Christmas. It was the best Christmas of my life. Seeing my mom and dad be absolutely surprised was priceless and emotional and wonderful. I think I was blocking all of the things I was going to miss about being home out of my mind because I didn't want to be miserable in Honduras for Christmas. But, once I got home, I was thrilled to go to Christmas Eve brunch with my family, hang out with family friends on Christmas, eat Papa Jack's pancakes, see my parents and siblings, watch Star Wars, and so many other glories. I mean, our Christmas tree in the states is real. and it smells real. And I will never take that for granted again. So, that's why I haven't blogged in a while. I was scared for the week before that I was going to spoil the surprise and then the five days I was home, I wanted to spend every second with my family. Sorry that I'm not sorry. No worries, I am back in full force now.
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