stateside

Well, I am back in los estados for good, now. I have been back for approximately two weeks and it still doesn't feel real. When I went scuba diving, I described being under the water by saying that it felt like I was in another world. like i was a different person walking on the ocean floor. And, that is how I feel now. It doesn't feel like the Caitlin that is sitting in Starbucks sipping a Iced Mocha and typing this blog post is the same Caitlin who was driving around two weeks ago on the streets of La Ceiba searching for children sleeping on the street. I mean, how can I be the same person in such different places? How do i connect who I was in Christ in La Ceiba to who I am in Him here? that is something I have really been struggling with since coming back. That, and remembering to flush my toilet paper. I'm telling you, that will never feel normal.

Life seems the same here, but I am different. I feel unknown, undignified, and unraveled. I can tell a million stories and they won't even begin to sum up who I am. And even if they did, people can't understand the stories or feel the significance of them like I can. It's hard. But, I had a good friend remind me that even though I am in the States and comfortable, the Lord is still growing me and that these struggles are sculpting me into the woman He desires. I am being stretched for His glory. So, I can't run away or hide from the reality that I am in. I am not in Honduras. I am home. I am different. I have been changed. And now I must pour into my relationship with Christ and share my story for His glory and honor. I would appreciate prayers as I begin to process these truths.