i don't even really know how to title this post. how to sum up the past 72 hours of life in Honduras. to begin, I should say that I went to a women's conference at my church here, Gran Comision. It was at one of the church campuses and it was an all weekend event that was in english! so awesome. my favorite part though was the time in between and after the talks where i got to know the women of the church. seriously, this church is so solid and the people in it even more so. Kate and I got closer to women that spend every day pouring into the community they live in and loving it with Christ's love. Which is more than I can say for myself. I think it is actually easier to move to a different country to show Christ's love than to do it consistently in your hometown. I have a friend crush on pretty much everyone i met.

Well Sunday afternoon came along and I was reminded of humanity and just how sinful our flesh is at it's core. A member of the praise band died at the age of 22 on his way to church. And it was hard to deal with. it's still hard to deal with. and for a while I couldn't put my finger on why it was. I mean, i had never talked to him or known him on any personal level at all. and yet, i felt pain. and i think the reasoning is two-fold. One, I got to know the church and the people in it this weekend and so, I felt their pain as a sister in Christ. But also, i think it's just feeling the pain of this world. In the states, it was very easy for me to turn the other way when it came down to the sinfulness of humanity. I felt it's effects, but on a minimal level. Here, children live on the street because their parents have abandoned them, others are thrown into the drug world or prostitution. People are shot daily. some because of gang evolvement and some because they got caught in the crossfire. there is starvation, abuse, death, theft, sadness, hatred. every day, everywhere. and i can't pretend to be ignorant. and it hurts. it's exhausting. and i plead for Jesus to come so that those children have no more pain. no more suffering.

but for now, this is the world i am called to live in. and i have to respond. so, I look to love the community the way christ would. to forgive the gangs for their constant killing. forgive the parents of the neglected. forgive the drug lords. and live every day as if it were my last. when I sing "with everything, we will shout forth your glory, your praise", "if our god is for us, who shall we fear", "lord, you are faithful and your mercies eternal"...i have to mean that. because today could very easily be my last. and i have to glorify him even in my death. and have no fear. and believe that in this pain and suffering in this world, he is faithful. and I am so grateful for this church body I have found that is a constant reminder of just that. praise Jesus for that.