scuba noobs

That's right folks, yesterday I went scuba diving for the first time in my life with my roomies. They were so sweet and took me as a going away present because apparently I'm leaving in two weeks. Whoops. I've heard going into denial is the best way to deal with reverse culture shock, so I'm going with that.

Anyways, we headed out to Cayos Cochinos, a chain of beautiful islands that I've snorkeled at before, to do an adventure scuba for us noobs that don't have our scuba diving license. IE Kate and me. HEYO. Needless to say, there were lots of laughs.



this picture is for Kate. I do not care for it as much, but we are on a boat and we are friends, so whatevs.



Me with the roomz. Gonna miss these guys. Seriously though, the water is more beatiful than the pictur is able to capture.



th wittle island we first stopped at.



Kate and I decided to wear the wetsuits since its cold in the water. Except really, i decided i needed it and guilt-tripped Kate into wearing it. She ended up taking it off before we got in the water and I might add, i saw goosebumps on her arm while we were swimming. victory is mine. But, here we are modeling our beauty.



so much laughter.



im just saying, the guy gave us all of this equipment that weighed so many pounds and then made us sit in the waves. We almost drowned in a foot of water because we kept being swept up by the waves and we had no way of controlling where they took us. but really, this trip was awesome. It's cray because it felt like such an out of body experience while I was down there. I was in a whole other world and it was so inexplicable. I absolutely loved it!

today I had to...

Say my first goodbyes to some of the girls in Armenia Bonito, where I used to work. They were some of the first Hondurans I ever met. Point is, I hate goodbyes. And I have lots of them to say in these next couple of weeks. Shoot.

baby steps

Today, as usual, I went to CNI to work and play with kids for four hours of my day. Exhausting, beautiful, saddening, laughable, inexplicable. The Lord painted for me just little pictures of children's lives today and gave me little ways to connect with so many precious kids.

Little Cindy floats up and down in her polka dot dress, attempting to reach the next part of her hopscotch course. Hearing me call for her to come over to me, she runs and buries her face into my arms for a hug, giggling into my neck. I really just wanted to tie the back of her dress.

As Miguel enters the classroom, it looks to be a day where he is willing to learn. He slides into the seat next to mine, facing the desk and I breathe a sigh of relief. Until I begin to speak. With my words of hello, he covers his eyes from the world around him, curls up his legs to his chin, and it's as if I can see his mind shutting off into himself. His mental disabilities left undiagnosed, I can't label his mind. But I can pour love and loving discipline into it with the hope that tomorrow he will give me his toothy grin when he thinks I'm not looking.

Danesi' talking voice is a violent scream. Her walking pace, a crisp stomp. Her daily expression, a harsh scowl. This morning is no different. She momentarily shakes my eardrum with her greeting and stands so close I can feel her belly against my forearm. I return the greeting in the same manner. And with that, a grin sneaks up before she can tell it to stop. It's too late, I know she's happy to see me. She follows me for a while and uses taking a picture as an excuse to give me a hug. I debate pointing this out, but remember that she may only be 11, but her appearance tells me she could win a fight. Be it verbal or physical.

I hand out toothpaste to the 106 kids brushes that a thrown into my face after lunch each day. I wait for the green Buzz Lightyear brush and the pink one that tags along behind it. It has yet to make it's appearance. Walking outside, I see it's owner, swinging with his cousin, pink toothbrush girl. It only takes me yelling his name. Arnold. He sheepishly grins, grabs her hand, as they follow me back to where their toothbrushes wait for them. And tomorrow, it will be the same.

Little steps. Little glmpses. There are deep heart issues that are shown in the simplest things. And then there is the resistant to brushing their teeth, and I can just smile. And remember that theses kids are just kids too, even though their burdens are far heavier than I am capable of holding for them. And Jesus whispers to me, "I am Healer. I am Redeemer. I've taken their place. In me, all things hold together. I am enough, beloved."

ordinary people

I'll set the scene. Two weeks ago, I road on the bus to San Pedro Airport with my mom and will to send them back to the states. It's about a two and a half hour drive that I rarely take. On the way home to La Ceiba, the Lord really blessed me with distractions so that I would not be sad about my family abandoning me. Maybe they didn't abandon me, but you can't prove otherwise. One of those distractions was in the form of two gringas sitting next to me on the bus. They had come to La Ceiba to meet their missionary friend who was living there for two years. They were college aged and just fun to talk to. I gave them my blog link...so, oops you might be reading this. Shout out to Tori and Lori.

Okay now, fast forward to present day. My roommate Kate just got back from a week in the states with her family. We are all sitting in the living room tonight when she remembers a story she forgot to tell us. Here is how it went, "So, I was waiting in the airport in San Pedro to go to the states when I ran into a couple gringas. Well, we got to talking and started talking about Katie Davis in Uganda. (side note: if you don't know her, look her up on the Internet an maybe stop living in a cave) Anyways, we got to talking and turns out they know her really well. They went to high school with her then the same college before she decided to move back to Uganda. So, I got to talk to them all about her journey and their perspective on it. It was so cool. Wait, I became friends with them on Facebook. Let me look them up."
At this point, I asked what their names are and she said, "oh, Tori and Lori."

I mean, seriously?! What are the chances. We never go to San pedro, I am never confident enough to talk to people I don't know, and they only were here for one week. And, they mentioned me to Kate not knowing we were roommates. So random! And just cool that the Lord's family is so small and big at the same time. I mean let's see: five girls, one from Alabama, two from Nashville, one from North Carolina, and one in Uganda. And somehow, we all became connected only through our love for Jesus and our response to His call. So, so neat.

And we have one more thing in common, I guess. Our names are Kate, Cait, Katie, Lori, and Tori. Who ever said Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor.

go ahead, give me a kiss

I remember in my sophomore year of high school, an Austrian told me that Americans are way too affectionate. We say we love you to anyone we've known longer than a week, we give big hugs, we smile lovingly. At the time, I loved this because let's be honest, you always want to think that your culture is the best so any compliment solidifies your inner thoughts. But, let me tell you, Latinos put us to shame.

The way to greet someone here is to give them a kiss on the cheek. Strangers, friends, family alike, you see someone at church, grocery store, or at your house, you greet them immediately with a kiss. Just lean in, gently place your hand on their elbow, and do a little air kiss. Or, if a pro, you merely stick your head out (picture a turtle coming out of his shell), cock your head to the left, and pucker up. And let me just tell you, I love dem kisses. I'm not even a physical touch person. I know, whatta freak. It's just that, people act like height is not a significant factor that plays into hugs and it is! There are only certain heighted (not a word, but I made it one) peope that I permit to hug me consistently.

But I digress. I love the kisses. Nope, I lerf them. Which is stronger than love. Plus theyre great ice breakers because if you are comfortable enough to kiss someone's cheek and hold their elbow, you're confident enough to say your name. Kisses are the best way of life and I will stop at nothing to make them popular in the states.

glory to god

I've been thinking about a lot of general things about missions today. It all started when I realized how grateful I am for my family and the way they love the Lord. My parents are such great examples of what it looks like to trust your whole life to Christ. They're not perfect, no one is. But, I can't remember a time in my life where I ever questioned their love for the Lord and their love for me. That is so incredibly rare. But the reason I am grateful for them today is because they love the Lord more than me. They haven't put me on a pedastool this year and praised me for going to a different country, they have praised the Lord who lives in me. They have thanked him for his goodness and guidance. And so have my siblings.

I think it's so easy to forget that missionaries are nothing special. We have no special abilities or strengths that have made us more capable than others. I am a shy girl, I love the Lord, I am not fluent in Spanish, I hate meeting new people, and I am 19. What part of that makes me able to live in Honduras for this year? The Lord. Every other part is shouting "don't go!" and yet, the Lord has called me to this place. Although I have the stubborn, defiant Keegan gene, Jesus quieted my heart long enough for me to agree to go. And since being here, He has confirmed more and more that it is not me doing good works here, but Christ in me. I fail in the language, I don't have any idea how to teach a special needs child to speak, I don't like putting myself out there. And yet, I find myself doing things daily that involve all of these things. And, sometimes I succeed at a task. And those days, I have to remind myself that Jesus is to be glorified. Because if I was to leave tomorrow, the Lords name would still be glorified here.

And so, I am so thankful for my family and their ability to understand that. Because I think if they didn't praise Jesus over me, my heart would be filled with selfish pride. Turns out, God knew what he was doing when he made me a Keegan.

" The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high; he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness,
and he will be the stability of your times, abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is Zion's treasure."
Isaiah 33:5-6

daily occurences

These are some of the questions/conversations that are a part of my daily life here:

1. Are you Honduran? Americans, hondurans, males, females, adults, children alike. Apparently, Ive got the Honduran skin tone.
2. Is that your mom? Usually "that" is whichever gringa is closest to me at the moment. Age makes no difference. My 26 year old friend, Heather, is the most likely victim since I work with her.
3. Is that your baby? Nope, I just love to hold babies and I happen to have a friend here who loves for me to hold her baby. And why woud I ever move to a different country by myself with a baby? For seven months.
4. All of my names so far are: Usted (meaning "you"), gringita, Cait, cayleen, case, cach, kite, kis, kais. Oh,and one kid thinks my name is Allison.
5. and your family? Yup, that's the entire question. Doesn't really lead you to any particular answer does it? I just assume they mean, and your family, why aren't they here?
6. Wow, how tall are you?
7. Will you ever have children of your own? As if I'm behind schedule or something.
8. Advice from a student I had:" look, he is beautiful, you're beautiful, so what's the problem? You'll never get a boyfriend if you're so picky." to be fair, I don't get this one daily.

And this one is my all time favorite:
Do you not like your family? Is that why you moved here?

Im going to miss these daily laughs.